Translation of "Homo's verbannen door de liefde", SP!TS, 11 May 2004.
In the Netherlands, gay men and lesbians have the same rights as heterosexuals to live together with their foreign partners. In 176 other countries, where gay partnerships and marriages are not recognized, it is a different story. It is one of the reasons that many couples come to the gay paradise of the Netherlands. The Love Exiles foundation was launched this weekend in Amsterdam to fight for the immigration rights of gay and lesbians outside the Netherlands. Because the Netherlands as a single ‘island of acceptance’ is not enough.
AMSTERDAM – Does forbidden love still exist? Yes, according to Jane Kitchen, who is British, and Diana Poston, who is American. Their homosexuality made it virtually impossible for them to live in the same country. The United States refused to give Kitchen a residence permit, because gay marriage is not possible and gay relationships are not recognized for immigration purposes. The couple was not welcome in Great Britain for the same reasons. Only when the two women could show that they had lived together for longer than two years would the British government allow Kitchen’s American partner permanently into the country. Consequently, in order to meet the British requirement, the couple lived together for two years in Argentina, where immigrants can obtain a residence permit more easily. “So, we speak Spanish, thanks to our sexuality,” laughed Kitchen cynically.
But Martha McDevitt-Pugh, an American lesbian, doesn’t think it’s very funny. She also knows what it is like to have fewer rights as a gay couple, as her Dutch marriage is not recognized in the United States. She founded the foundation Love Exiles to fight for the residence and immigration rights of gays and lesbians. The foundation draws attention to and denounces discrimination against gay and lesbian couples where the partners are of different nationalities.
Presently, it is possible for citizens in sixteen countries, including the Netherlands and Belgium, to obtain a residence permit for their same-sex partner or spouse. That number seems likely to increase. Since 1989 nine European countries have taken steps to legally recognize the relationships of same-sex couples. And it is expected that more will follow. Still, there are 176 countries in the world where gays and lesbians have no rights to live with a foreign partner.
The idea to found the Love Exiles foundation didn’t just fall from the sky for McDevitt-Pugh. The American has lived since 2000 in the Netherlands where she three years ago married the Australian Lin Pugh. “The fact that I have the right to live together and even to marry here makes the lack of rights in my own country painfully clear,” says McDevitt-Pugh. If she and her wife were to stay longer than 60 days in the United States, they would be considered illegal. And if her spouse needed to go to the hospital during a visit to America, she would have no say over medical treatment and might possibly be denied visiting rights. “That I am not one hundred percent accepted in my own country makes me angry. But I don’t want to become bitter, so I decided to do something.”
She began a search for other gay couples of different nationalities, of which she estimates there are a few thousand in the Netherlands. “I discovered that most of the couples become isolated, and so I wanted to create a community to bring together and amplify our strengths.” With the founding of Love Exiles, that goal has been realized.
Next step, gay rights. The foundation hopes to achieve its goals by counting and keeping track of ‘love exiles’ in the Netherlands, creating broader social interest, organizing meetings and events, and attracting as much media attention as possible. At the moment, they are busy writing letters to Brussels where the EU is discussing its new constitution.
As long as the rights of gays and lesbians are not equal with those of heterosexuals, the love of a couple like Jane Kitchen and Diana Poston remains forbidden in most countries. Moving to a liberal country like the Netherlands is always a possibility, but according to McDevitt-Pugh it is not enough: “The Netherlands is an island of acceptance. But we need more than an island, we need the world.”