I have lived alone for my entire life. I always knew that I wasn't interested in men but had never really been attracted to a woman...at least not consciously....until Hélène.

It didn't start out that way. We met at my work's 40th anniversary party--she is the niece of the founder of my school. I'm almost 53 and Helene a few years younger. We hit it off and became pen pals....at first just a few times a year and then more often. We visited each other on our vacations over the next two years and I began to learn Dutch. Our relationship grew. Of course, Hélène was married, so it didn't dawn on me that we were more than best friends. However, after a bit, we talked about this and realized that we were both in love with each other.

Hélène had a really difficult time going back alone to tell her family. There really wasn't much I could do except support her over the phone. Luckily, I had saved all my life, so we had the financial resources to be able to see each other frequently. After a year alone, Hélène, gave up her life in the Netherlands and moved to the U.S. and went to school. She REALLY doesn't like school---this is not her goal in life--so this was and still is a big sacrifice. She really misses her family too. I'm not real happy being an American these days. I was sick the day Bush got elected....I still can't believe it!!! But....and then Sept. 11 happened. Sometimes, we get really down about how slow everything is going with Hélène's application for labor certification and about school, homework, etc. I have a reasonably stressful job and it would be nice if we could just lead a normal life. After all, we are married (in Gouda 7 juni 2002)!!!

The Netherlands is so much more progressive than the U.S. I hope we get there one day, but it certainly is slow. I have tried to get support from a Congressman or Senator to check on the status of Hélène's paperwork, but we seem to be at the mercy of her attorney, who charges every time we call to ask if she's heard anything. We've paid 1000's of dollars already and are lucky we have the resources. I know most couples don't.

I am surprised at how supportive the people we know and meet are. We tell everyone that we are together and most people that we were married in the Netherlands. So far, knock on wood, no one seems to have a problem. So, Americans are changing I think, even though the government isn't. Or....we are just lucky to be living in a relatively liberal area.

I have visited the Netherlands often and Hélène's family has adopted me. I am beginning to feel at home there. Of course, things are a bit smaller than here, our house, washer, ice cubes, refrigerator, cars, stores, etc. And I'm working on getting free water at restaurants (I'm getting used to no ice)!! But....just kidding....it's a lovely country and my second homeland. My great grandmother's husband was a "Duinker" from Roosendaal....so I'm really part Dutch. That accounts for all the savings I HAD accumulated all those years!!!

In summary, I've never been happier! We're lucky in that her children have gradually accepted me and my relationship with them is growing. I am very close to two of her sisters and one of her brothers too. I love Hélène heel veel en voor altijd. I will follow her anywhere!

- Karen

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